I want to apologise to anyone who had the ill-fortune of talking to me a few nights ago. It's a habit I can't stop, I've spent most of my life attempting to. Millie came home and I hate what I did to her -- no one should have to go through seeing their husband like that.

In any rate, it all has past and it should be some time before it happens again (if it does around any of you.)

I just wanted everyone to know that.

Current Mood: moody
Current Music: "So Deep Within You" - The Moody Blues, On the Threshold of a Dream

It's like a dream to revive this and find you have returned. Those days seem so recent, even if in truth, they all passed by long ago. I can still recall the first time I saw you; I was studying music, you were studying painting with a keen interest in art history -- there was no telling that this would spawn so close a bond that it did.

You were so fragile, like a newborn bird, and I was confused and young and full of unsuppressible ambition. You were close with everyone but Nick -- to tell you the truth, you were the only one I was truly close to, and this fact would become all too apparant each time my services weren't needed (each time a new dream was sought.)

My own dream was realised when I joined with my wife, in the form of a bouncing baby Benjamin, full of baby fat and huge happy grins. My own dream was realised in a variety of ways. We've all grown, but now you're back and we have to turn to you.
How many nights did we laze on a grassy knoll, joints in our hands and dreams forming with each smokey exhalation? How many fantasies did we share in the midnight hour before heading off to some insane pursuit? How many secrets did I confide in you?

We were the closest friends, but Waters still managed to tear us apart, and whatever damage he did not inflict Gilmour completed when he claimed the spot on your solo albums rather than me.

I'm glad that you've returned, Syd, and I hope you find some time for an old friend. I think about you every day, I have since I last saw you when you were truly you (at some anonymous party it was, The Who and the Beatles were still there, Dylan perhaps, too, I can't remember all that well...) and we parted ways for good.

Please find some time for me.
I'd like nothing more than to hear your voice and see that mischevious twinkle in the corner of your eye.

Current Mood: contemplative

I think that Millie found this. Spending time with her and Benjamin has been a bit of hard time, but don't get me wrong -- these kind of hard times are the ones that I welcome. Family, after all, is by far the most important aspect of life and isn't one to be overlooked.

It always amazes me, watching someone grow, and with each passing day Benny looks better and more sure of himself. He'll be a fine man one day, I only hope that I will still be here to see it.

At least I can rest assured that Millie will be.

If you have found this, I still love you, and this was only made as a measure through which I could gauge my own life.

Current Mood: content

I'm working on a new album, the mixing is getting rather difficult, though. There's really no telling how long it will take to finish, but we're trying our best to get it released this year.

Benjamin is doing pleasantly well in school, which is good, although the other day he did come home a bit down. Got a poor grade on a math exam, he said. It is really alright with me, I'm too old to be getting upset over the minor things like this. Millie didn't really say one way or the other how she felt.

I'm really getting worried about her again, it's not like her to be so distant all the time. The other night she actually rolled away from me in bed, I was stuck with her back to my side; she wouldn't let me touch her.

Please.. I don't want to go through all of this again.

The wife is asleep. She's been sleeping so much lately. I'm a bit worried about her again... given all that happened last time she took to sleeping this much.

It's a small favour that I found this site, as it wouldn't be kind to tell her this directly. It would be hard for her to find this journal.. I don't know what she would say if she did.

Benjamin has been doing well. It's hard to believe he's already ten years old! He's put off the weight he had gained originally as well. He'll be a right strapping young man, if I do live to see him grow so old. At least I know Millie will.

I would do anything for her... I just wish she would do the same for herself.